Major Blockage Going On

My brain won’t let anything out lately. I know you’ve missed me blogging about nothing here, I apologize, I do. So uhm yeah I got nothin’ so here are some pictures of things going on around here!

Oscar hurt his toe…You wanna know how to cripple a 3 year old really fast? Put a band aide on his toe, it’s just like putting tape on a cat’s paw. HILARIOUS.

This is how they play all the time.

Enjoying the sunshine out the back door.

He’s already a baller, shot caller.

After the Walk for the Cure, Oscar had to wear my numbers. He wore them the rest of the day. And ran around.

And even Blaze ‘n Butters love the nice weather.

Hopefully I’ll have something to talk about soon. Something might be on my mind enough to actually let it all out in my lovely word vomit that I spew on here.

 

Things You Totally Wanna Know…

Oh you thought this was going to be all weird but really it’s a trick. I just want to talk about TV. Specifically what is on my DVR in my bedroom, and well I know that you really want to know what I watch, because it’s interesting. Plus it gives me a chance to look up pictures and add to my post just a little bit.

First on the list is America’s Best Dance Crew or ABDC on the ol’ MTV that only has videos on in the morning now because they’re lame. I have watched ABDC since the first season. I love it because I am jealous of people who can dance like these people do. My favorite crew is Poreotix, which is a mixture of Popping, and Robitics. These boys won my heart right off the bat with they’re theatrics and oh, they danced to TAYLOR SWIFT!! It was amazing. They tend to stick to what they do best, theatrics but I think that’s why I like them. They are defiantly consistent. I have the most resent episode waiting for everyone to leave my house so I can just sit and enjoy. My favorite episode so far though was the Lady Gaga challenge. Hands down that was the best out of all of them.

Next on my list is my Wednesday line up of: The Middle, Modern Family, Cougar Town and Criminal Minds. I love the Middle because of the weird things that happen to the “Heck” family and how they make them so “normal” but so far out there that it can’t honestly happen to a “real” family. Modern Family is hilarious with the exception of on person. And it’s a personal opinion of my own for most episodes. But I love the rest of the cast and the stories are hilarious. Cougar Town tends to get annoying at times but the majority of it I have nothing but love for. Criminal Minds has replaced Law and Order SVU for me. Even though I will still watch marathons of SVU any time they’re on.

I know I’m going out of order for the week, but that’s because I like to be confusing. Thursday nights are the big ones. Community, Parks and Rec, The Office and of course 30 Rock. All of these are HILARIOUS. Community is my new favorite because I love LOVE Joel McHale and even follow him on twitter because I love him so much. All of the characters on that show are wonderful and hilarious the writing is excellent and I just really recommend adding it to your list.

I know I’m such a critic! Ha!

Okay Thursday also brings with it, well it used to, my new favorite Archer. This is absolutely wonderful. According to the anime man in the house it’s the same people that did Frisky Dingo on Cartoon Network’s Adult swim. I’ve only seen one episode of Frisky Dingo but man I love me some Archer. He’s a terrible spy, but he’s got some good lines. It’s irreverent and funny and I forget that it’s a cartoon. And it’s a good one to watch when I don’t have my beloved It’s Always Sunny to watch.

Okay so Monday’s are big days for me too. Because well I’m really excited and mad at the same time because Rules of Engagement is back on and I keep forgetting to set it up to record. I love Patrick Warburton. I have loved him since Seinfield. I think its the deep voice. Plus he’s not terrible to look at and all the characters he plays are awesome. He was even in one of my favorite Disney cartoons The Emperor’s New Groove. And he was great as the voice of Kronk.
Monday’s are also for How I Met Your Mother. Because who the fuck doesn’t love Neil Patrick Harris? Honestly. Now Ted? Ted I could do with out sometimes. But I love Lily and Marshall and I love Robin because she kind of reminds me of myself back in the day. I also watch The Big Bang Theory because I love nerds. The hot girl I think needs to be less annoying but I love the boys.

The shows I miss the most either because I don’t get the channels or because they don’t have them anymore:
Big Love
Deadwood
Weeds
Rome
The Sopranos (I hated the way they ended it)
Always Sunny..I Need new episodes!!
There’s probably more, but I can’t think of them, I will once I hit publish…

 

The Best Things Oscar says

To end NaBloPoMo I wanted to post a story about my vagina for the Renegade moms. But this didn’t happen because I suck at writing assignments. So here is some of the wonderful things Oscar has said to me this past month…

While watching The View with Barb(Jesse’s mom) he sees Whoopi and says “Who’s that? My grandma?” and Barb says “No that’s Whoopi!” and Oscar replies “Oh! YOUR Grandma!” HAHAH!! I should have known!! And no Barb does not resemble Whoopi in the slightest.

“Good Job mom” for lighting candles. I’m glad I’m doing something right!

“I’m angry! I go to my room now!!”

Waking up because of a train horn: “Shuddup Train!” Train horn goes again. “TRAIN! SHUDDUP!!”
Then he wakes up a little more and says: “All monsters gone now mom? Yup all gone, monsters gone.”(crazy dreams like his momma! yay!)

“You can do it mom!” (I need no cheerleaders!)

“Give me some love”

oh and I got him to say “Shut your dirty mouth” to his dad. bwahahahahaa

While punching himself in his crotch: “GO AWAY!” “GO AWAY RIGHT NOW!” hmmm…

 

The Best Way to Get The Wax Out

My ear has been bugging me for a week or two now. You know the little man that has been trying to get out of my head through my ear drum? Yeah him. So I am going to go to the health food/hippy place tomorrow and getting some Ear Candles.

Yes! That is right! I have used ear candles and they have worked for me! You would not believe the crap that comes out of my ears. I have even used the ghetto way and just rolled news paper up into a cone shaped and that way worked just as well! Wikipedia (the source for ANYONE WHO’S ANYONE! LESLIE!) says that the residue is just from the candle itself. But how does it explain it when I used a news paper and got the same result?? hmm? Wiki? HMMM???I hate when my schemes are dashed by science. I’m still going to use my hard earned money to get these things. Because modern science fails me. I’ve almost talked myself out of this already. I’m going to probably just get some ear wax remover and do it the normal way. Putting crap in my ear and then flushing it out with a water bulb. Yay! I used to have to go to the doctor to have it done because my ear cannals are tiny and crooked. So my ears get plugged up super easy and well I once had insurance and was able to have the nurse do it for me. But not anymore. So I’m on my own.

Alright after writing this nonsense I have read enough to talk myself out of getting the candles. I’ll just get some ear wax remover and hope for the best. Even though I know that it has helped me, or so I thought! haha.

P.S. Grossest thing I’ve ever seen: The Big Mac Snack Wrap. Gross.
P.P.S The funniest Facebook update I’ve seen: “WOW. I guess I’m never using that word again…”dork”….I found out it’s real meaning. Sick.” (This person is over the age of a fifth grader BTW. Oh and I learned that meaning back when I was a 4th grader and thought it was HILARIOUS!!)

 

The Best Thing I found Last Night

I found this website http://www.kobo.com and it’s like Kindle. But not Kindle! So I can still be “un-hip” which I really am fond of. They have some free books that you can put on your computer or phone. Which is awesome so now I can read in bed, or read something while Oscar is watching his ‘stories’ and if I do want to buy a book most of them are $9.99 and less. I don’t know how much Kindle is, I’m sure it’s “way cooler” then this one. But hey I found it and I like it!

I’m not suggesting you go out and look and get a whole bunch of books from here either. I’m just telling you the best thing that I found last night.

I’m hiding in my room because Oscar wanted to play Burnout Paradise City. And the game makes me dizzy. Thing is, he doesn’t know how to play it so well, and then makes me play it for him. And it gives me a headache. So now I’m just yelling from my room. “FIGURE IT OUT!” Because every so often I hear “I’m stuck!!”

Oh and if you ever want to know how people make it on less then you. Jesse only made 11 grand last year. And we survived. Sure, we have collections calling us on occasion. But really? We never ended up living in our car, and we only had food stamps for maybe two months! Because it annoyed the crap out of me to have to deal with DHSH. They’re serious assholes there. I think it’s because they think every single person that comes into their offices are druggies or something. So they treat EVERYONE like a druggie. Instead of treating everyone like they would want to be treated if the tables were turned.

Anyway that’s about it for today. I don’t have much to talk about. As you can clearly see!

 

Needing “Best” suggestions

So Jesse got his pay cut by his “journeyman” the other day. And now we need suggestions on what we should do. I’ve been told that he should just take a job that pays less and might be crappy for a while. He really wants to go into law enforcement, but realistically, there aren’t very many opportunities right now, and he would have to go to school. So that would take two years at least, and when he gets done with all that time (and money) would there be jobs then?

His journeyman is a total prick. Last year he started out the year making $20 an hour. But then construction took a nose dive, so his hours got few and far between. Then the dick decided to cut him down to $18 an hour. Oh Jesse has been this guy’s “apprentice” now for 5 years. $18 is still cool, if you working 40 hours a week. Not if you’re working maybe 20 to 30 a week. And you’re the only one working in your family. So then he gets threatened because of ONE mistake that he’ll get his pay cut again. “You do $15 an hour work, I’ll pay you that.” Meanwhile…the big bosses and everyone else that Jesse has worked for over the past 5 years has NEVER said that to him. Jesse does most of the work, stays longer, and seems to be better liked, because he doesn’t bitch about EVERY SINGLE JOB. Yet he won’t go to his big bosses and say get me my own work. Because there’s not enough. Now cut to last night. Journeyman decided to cut Jesse again down to $16 an hour. Without telling him! So the pay check was about $140 less then what we thought it was going to be. Good bye paying bills on time!
So we’re off to explore some options. To see if he should just go to school now for something he would really like to do and that won’t kill his body in the long run.
Any suggestions? Honestly? We could use all the help we can get.

 

The BEST cookies EVER!

I was watching Paula Deen last week and she made cookies and some other stuff with lots of buttery goodness. And I thought, “Man those look like good cookies.” And they were super easy to make too! So I tried it out. And I made one batch that only made maybe 20 cookies or so, which is not enough for this fat ass family. I did it again. And I have photos to prove it! YAY FOR PHOTOS!!

Edited: Okay here’s the recipe! I forgot the first time around and was reminded.
1 cream cheese
1 stick o butta
1tsp vanilla
1egg
1box of chocolate cake mix
Powdered sugar

Cream Cheese and butter need to be room temp. Mix those two together. Add the egg. Add the Vanilla. Whip them up good. Then add the cake mix and blend it up.
Throw it in the refrigerator for 2 hours. If you don’t cool them down the cookies will flatten out. Use a spoon and scoop out a little bit. Paula says “No bigger then a walnut.” But I went bigger. Ball it up in your hands. Then you toss into a little dish of powdered sugar and dust with the sugar.
I am not sure if you can add chocolate chips to them, but hey it won’t hurt!
Bake at 325 for 15 to 17 minutes. (that’s what I did)
And last, eat them quick!

The Start of the Cookies!!

In Progress

The mess afterwards!

The only way I could get his face.

MMM beaters…

Had to bring out the big dog for this batch

That’s a big ball of batter!!

Oscar really likes the beaters

The little mixer taking a much needed break

Almost clean!

Oscar licking the BIG beater

MMM cookie face!

Before the powdered sugar application

In the oven!

Look at all the cookies!!

Yes I took a bite out of that one

 

Avoiding Transcription, and Other Things

This is the “Best” way to avoid doing anything responsible.

The other night I got into bed and said “Shit! I forgot to blog!” and Jesse said “Ha! are you going to die now?” “No, it’s just that I wanted to blog everyday this month, and I’ve already failed.” “Well you always have tomorrow.” Thanks sweety! bleh!

Want to hear a list of the best complaints that I have health-wise going on with me at the moment? No? Well I will tell you one weird thing. My ear keeps popping, but not really, it’s more like a dull thud or something. I can’t explain it. This is why I don’t go to the doctor, that and no med. insurance. I can’t ever explain my pains. “well it’s like a rrrr rrrr sound!” My right arm has a weird shot of pain going through it every so often today too. Oops that was two things. Then I was rubbing my arm and it felt like there was a huge bruise but nothing is there. And now! It’s gone. And it’s just the ear thing, which throws me off balance, and weirds me out and I hope that I’m not going to have Minere’s Disease like my mom.

We had to go on an all out hunt for shorts for Jesse today. I know. I’m rolling my eyes too. Shorts in January, but apparently he’s not the only one according to the sales girl at Macy’s where we finally ended up finding shorts. Which is the last place we expected, because we don’t like it there. haha. Oh and even more surprising he managed to buy two pairs of shorts for $21.00! CRAZYNESS! So we got out of the house just the three of us. It was nice. Oscar charmed some women at the “Flaming Wok” even though he wouldn’t say hi to them. One lady called him “handsome” hahahahah. I love that.

Hm. What else?

Oh! So, yesterday I lost my phone. ALL FREAKING DAY. And it taught me nothing. I say this because I know some people who would take losing their phone all day and learn something from it, like spending more time with the family or taking time out to really appreciate not being attached to something. But honestly it was like a day spent at work. Because I can’t have my phone on at work, so I didn’t learn anything from it. Just that I missed being able to call Leslie when something dumb happened, and I had to Instant Message her instead. And that’s not as fun. But then at the end of the day, I found my phone. In the pocket of my robe. I had no idea. I couldn’t even remember that I wore my robe the night before, that’s how out of it I was. I am awesome!

No more messin’ around, I need to get some “real work” done.

 

Really?

So I’m looking on the NaBloPoMo site and reading through the couple of blogs that people post on the main page and uhm there is nothing going on about “best” I think people just write about anything they want to and if they happen to write about “the best” something or other then it’s all great. So I’m the only one following the suggestion? Does that make me a follower or just someone who’s walking along but slightly out of line?

I am super worn out today for some reason. I think I know the reason but I don’t want to go into it really. I’ll just quote Bevis and Butthead “Maybe your lactose intolerant!” “NO! I said I poop too much! Then I get tired.”

Oscar wanted to take a nap, but I knew he was just playing with me. So we laid in my bed and he watched Tom and Jerry and I napped for an hour. Now he’s off playing with his grandma so I have a minute to type. I really need to change the channel though, I do not like Pokemon. By the way, spell check knows Pokemon! CRAZY!

Okay I’m done.

 

The Best Drunken Political Rant…To date…

I’m of the mind at the moment to become completely apathetic towards politics. My current thought is “meh” because honestly what can I do? What are YOU doing all you nay sayers? All you people who are pro-Obama or con-Obama? What are YOU doing to change the current situation? Are you gathering your posse to rally on city hall? With your pitch forks and torches? And you pro-Obama people are you still standing up for the man you elected? Or are you backpedaling because “he didn’t deliver on his “promises?” And on that note has ANY President done good on his promises?

I don’t care anymore. I honestly don’t give a shit about it. I think that all the politicians can suck a dick and drop dead for all I care. They’re all lying sacks of garbage anyway. All they do is cater to the lobbyists and we sir are not lobbyists. We are the American People! We stand united as one! BLAH BLAH BLAH!

Get over it. And stop talking about Sara Palin. She’s a douche. I don’t like her. I don’t think she’s smart or funny or witty and I don’t think that she represents the “American Women” at all. I think any other “American Woman” knows damn well you can’t see Russia from Alaska.

(Written while slightly drunk and angry at 12 am.)