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Category Archives: General Nonsense

Paranormal Hobo Ghosts Cats Glee Halloween!

You got that?

I didn’t sleep much last night. You wanna know why? Because I watched Paranormal Activities before I went to work. And then! I watched two episodes of Paranormal State. Which is way worse then the movie because IT IS REAL PEOPLE! Ghosts are real mmkay. And all night I kept waking up expecting some invisible hand grab my leg and drag me out of my bedroom. And what’s worse? Is that if that did ever happen…Jesse would probably sleep through the whole thing. That scares me. I would be drug out to the back yard and killed by hobo ghosts and he would wake up in the morning all refreshed. Jerk. And then when I tell him that I didn’t sleep at all and why he says that he’s not going to tell me anymore because he has before and I ignore his warnings. I have a problem. I have a scary story problem. I’m ready to admit this. Yet I’m not ready to stop listening to the stories.

Another problem that I have with the night time is two cats who have been named…get this…they’re very very original names: “Oscar’s Cat, and Oscar’s OTHER cat.” Yup. I tried to name one Chowder, but Oscar vetoed it. “NO THAT IS OSCAR’S CAT! NOT CHOWDER!” They like to fight with each other all night long. I have scratches on my hands from them trying to hold on when I fling them off my bed. So it looks like the ghosts have attacked me in my sleep but I really know that it was actually my stinking kitties.

My love affair with the show Glee is slowly burning out. I’m just not impressed and dazzled anymore. Now its just like a bad show about high school with songs thrown in. And most of the time the music isn’t all that great. The last new episode I didn’t know any of the songs. Lame. And I’m worried after reading the reviews about the newest one that they do an homage to Rocky Horror Picture Show. I’m not a huge fan of the movie, but I liked it enough to know when it’s been done wrong. So there’s that.

I have to work the mid shift on Halloween. I’m not too upset about this because Barb wants to take Oscar out trick-or-treating which is great because I hate it. I have always hated it. I don’t like getting dressed up and I definitely don’t like going to other people’s houses unannounced and asking for things. We just don’t have a costume for him. He wanted to either go in his jammies or go as “Lightnening” and when I said “Lightening McQueen?” (from Cars) he said “NO! LIGHTENING GUY!!” Who is a character from a PS3 game his dad plays. The guy doesn’t have much of a costume. Just a leather jacket and jeans. Oh and electricity shooting out of his hands…I don’t know how we would do that for a 4 year old. So he might just have to pick one out at the store. I wanted him to go as a fairy princess…but he shot me down. The boy does not love me at all. On another note I apparently really need a baby girl in my life. Anyone wanna donate one to me? ha!

I have finally stepped it up and got myself a blue tooth for my phone. But my blue tooth is pink. So I call it my pink tooth. I wore it all day even though I didn’t talk on my phone that much. Okay I didn’t wear it ALL day, because in all honesty it kinda hurts my ear. I don’t know how people can keep those in their ears all day.

We took a terrible turn as parents and put an old playstation in Oscar’s room. He loves it. I had to work until 10pm the first day he had it and the next morning he crawled in bed with me and told me he played his game “all night long!” and I said “all night?! did you sleep?” and he said “Yes mom…I was playing my new battle game FINAL FANTASY!!” And he threw his fists in the air. Adorable that I’m raising such a game nerd. My future is bleak. He doesn’t play it all day long though which is good. And I know, we’re terrible parents. I get it. We’re rotting his brains.

I had a co-worker tell me that she doesn’t want kids because they’re all annoying. And I agreed with her. My son? Annoying. But then she had to talk about how he was annoying at this party we went to because he kept going in and out of the house. And then even more annoying…he kept calling for his mom! I mean the NERVE of that three year old! Calling for his mother?? Can you imagine?! I don’t know what she expects.  I get it. I get that people don’t want kids. But what does she expect? So I tell her all the annoying things Oscar does to convince her even more not to have kids. I didn’t really want kids either, but it happened. And I love him to death, I do. But if any parent tells you that they’re kid isn’t annoying at times…is a fat liar. Kids are a pain in the butt. The only person I know that didn’t have a problem with any kid is my mom. And she’s a freak of nature. Or a saint. I’m leaning towards freak of nature though. She still I’m sure thought that we were annoying at times. Just ask her about my sister throwing screaming fits…hahah!

So there’s my update. Nothing new to note. Just that I am SUPER FREAKING EXCITED about Thanksgiving. It’s going to be tons of fun. I love being with my family. Maybe I’ll be able to get a flip camera before then to document the craziness.

 

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What if I Have no Passion?

One of my twitter “friends” said this to me today: “Whatever you’re passionate about go for it!” And I’m sitting here thinking to myself

“What am I passionate about?”

Sleeping. At the moment that’s all I want to do, even though caffeine is running wild through my anxiety ridden body all I want to do is take a nap. I didn’t get up until 9 today. When Oscar was finally tired of watching TV in my bed. Then I ate and fell asleep on the couch until noon. I’m a complete mess. I don’t know how to fix myself. I don’t know how to take all the advice from people to help.

I hate working out. I hate it. I can’t stand walking on a treadmill or even in the open air. I walk all the time at work. I jog at work. I hate it. I hate lifting weights. I don’t want to “work out” I don’t know why people keep telling me that it is so wonderful. I don’t feel better after working out I feel worse. I don’t like being like this, like a big baby of “I don’t wanna!” but honestly if I want to be a more in shape person I need to work out. But when I find no joy or anything but pain in doing something why should I do it?

I really don’t want to go to work. I mean REALLY don’t want to go to work.

I don’t know if Jesse is going to go to school or not. I’m trying to figure out how to talk to him without him getting defensive about it. Because I apparently come off as attacking him every time I ask him about it. So today I’ll hopefully get to ask him a little bit about it to see if he even wants to go or if he’s discouraged about the stupid selective service deal. Which he never turned in so he doesn’t even know if it hurts or what. Ugh.

I shouldn’t be sitting at the computer. I should be running around and doing something. Anything but I don’t want to. I just want to sit and do nothing. I’m passionate about doing nothing.

At the moment.

Ask me again in a day or two I will be passionate about eating. Or looking into doing something else. Who the fuck knows. I’m all sorts of messed up.

The worst thing is no one can fix me. I know this. I know that I’m the only one that can fix me. But I feel like I’m incapable of doing this.

I just wish I didn’t hurt all the time. I wish that just one day my hurt would just stop.

 
2 Comments

Posted by on September 15, 2010 in Depression, family, General Nonsense, Uncategorized

 

We all Have Struggles

(Written Monday, just to get you in the mind set.)

What I really want to do is sit here and type out all the ways I hate a certain Fox “News” person and how he’s a hateful mean spirited fear monger. But apparently only a couple people actually want to read and or comment on my political posts. Which is fine. I honestly don’t mind debate and when people don’t comment I just assume I have rendered all of you speechless. Or you all agree with all of my point and cannot simply add more to what I have already eloquently stated.

We ALL have problems with money.

The odd thing is the way that the money has been coming into the house lately, I shouldn’t have a problem. But because I don’t have a problem I tend to say “It’s okay to get this, because we have money.” And then we end up with a problem. But now I have a goal. I have to ask for the time off today at work. But I have a plan to go visit a friend who I have been missing for a while and I haven’t been able to see. And I rudely stood her up because of a new job way back in December. So I’m going to try and make it up to her and save money and go down to visit her and her family. I am beyond hopeful about this trip.

I’m actually thinking of postponing Oscar’s birthday to save the money. I wouldn’t do that! Yes I would. He won’t know anyway. He gets too many things as is. Yet if I don’t do his birthday I will feel like I’m not doing my job as a mom. Because every year my kid requires a cake and people around him singing him a song. But this year is different. I don’t have my sister here. I don’t have my wonderful neighbors. It’s just us. And that should be sufficient yet, most of the time I feel pretty lonely.

It always circles back to me doesn’t it?

Work has finally broken me down. It had stopped being fun, and apparently we’re not allowed to have fun anymore which is usually what happens at the jobs I’m at. We get out of control and have to be reeled back in. But whatever. The biggest thing for me is my feet. They hurt so bad from the concrete that I can’t be nice anymore. I feel like raging at people. I was going to get new shoes but we needed groceries instead. So I had to think: “food or shoes?” and food won. Of course. Stupid food. All it does is make me fat anyway.

I got sidetracked by a job opportunity. I just filled out the application now I have to do a new resume, again. Because since I had to reboot my computer I lost my last resume. No “good luck” necessary, I’m just filling out things and hoping for a chance. It’s a part time job at the City Council as an assistant. But it would pay me more than the 32 hours a week that I work at WM for just 28 hours a week. Make sense? And hopefully the opportunity to get benefits and to get my “foot in the door” as it were.

And I got side tracked some more by work. I’m home now. Work wasn’t terrible tonight, but I think that’s because for most of it I ignored my “real” work and just did what people told me to do. It was a little less crazy in the store tonight compared to the last couple of nights. I like Mondays for that reason. So now I’m sitting back and drinking a beer. Thinking about going to bed. Because tomorrow might be a long day. Work from 11am to 7:30. And then one more shift and I’m off for two days in a row. And I will tell you now that those two days will fly by, even if I do nothing at all. Because that’s what days off do.

 

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The Dangers of Writing

So when you write something super sarcastic and funny to a friend it’s okay…until you write a super heart-felt pms memory fueled post about an old friend. Then you get worried that you might have hurt a feeling or two.

But honestly. If I wrote a heartfelt post for my friend Leslie it would probably take up to 10 days to write it. And a lot of lying. hahah. KIDDING! I kid. So I was thinking about this and pondering if I should re-do her birthday post and after talking to her about it. I’m just leaving it. Mostly because I’m lazy and I don’t want to write all the memories I have with her. I’m still liking the idea of writing a post for birthdays tho, so don’t think I’m weaseling out of it. This is just how it happens with me. My first one is a trial run and they get better as I go. So my apologies to Leslie for being the first. Sometimes being the first isn’t always the best.

Twitter things: I have a hard time unfollowing real people. Even though they are REAL annoying most of the time. I have found several new blogs by joining “twitter parties” which are mostly fueled by alcohol and all the people involved are tons of fun.

Facebook things: I made a facebook profile for Jesse for the sole purpose of being able to put that I’m in “a relationship” with him. There was something missing and that was it. Now I’m making him friend all my family. I also have urges to write embarrassing things like “I heart spaghetti” and “I heart my girlfriend soo much” and “NARUTO RULES!” haha. But no one would laugh, except maybe me and Leslie.

Random thing that happened to me: I somehow got the song Physical by Olivia Newton-John in my head at work the other day. I was whistling it for over half my shift. Weird.

Blog things: check out these new blogs I’ve found:
No Points For Style
Pretty All True
Sky Waitress
Squashed Mom

 
4 Comments

Posted by on July 23, 2010 in blogging, Facebook, General Nonsense

 

So What’s the Difference?

Usually my hair is up in a ponytail/knot thingy because I don’t like to fix my hair because I’m lazy. At times when I’m feeling rambunctious I will leave my hair down. And then I get the questions… “Did you perm your hair??” Uhm no I did not perm my hair, I let it dry naturally. So this is what my hair looks like when I leave it alone.

Okay so the picture is funky because I saved it as a watercolor on my phone. But you get the point. You see the curly right? Okay so about once a week I’ll wear my hair like this and I’ll get the perm comments.
Last week I decided to straighten my hair because I was bored. It takes me a while to do it because I’m lazy and I don’t like to do it. So I greased it down really well because it’s dry as hell and straightened it. I left it like that for the next day and went to work. I had almost everyone complementing me on my hair. It was creepy. One co-worker who NEVER talks to me actually came up out of her way to tell me I looked different that day and that I looked “really good.” UHM?? What is wrong with me every other day?? Is it just because it’s a change? I’m confused. What’s the difference? I know it’s a different look and all but it has me wondering about my hair and what I can do with it. A lady came in today and had her hair mostly brown but then streaks of blonde read and blue, and she was all punk rock with her flaming platforms and her cherry blossom tattoo on her chest and I looked at her and said “I wish I could do that.”

So could I? Could I do a complete transformation of myself into something else? Would it be possible to just change the outside to what I feel like on the inside? Some hip punk fat chick?

I play with my hair a lot, especially when it’s straight. I can’t keep my hands off of it at all for some reason. All I did all day long is play with my hair. I even caught myself braiding a piece of it while standing at the door at work. Yeah.

 
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Posted by on May 14, 2010 in General Nonsense

 

Sometimes…

I want to quit my job.
Not for any real reason like I hate it there or it’s sucking my will to live but just because I’m lazy.

I want to blog about fantastic things like current/pop events.
But I have no real things to say about these events that haven’t already been said.

My kid does terrible things to me right before work and then I carry these terrible things and work sucks.
The other day Oscar decided to write all over in my bathroom sink with a Sharpie, oh and on his face too. YAY! He also thought it would be awesome to take my contacts and release them to the wild. And then shove my full bottle of contact solution into the drain of the sink and get rid of half of the bottle. He has no idea how much that bottle of salt water cost me…So I stood there looking at the sink and this boy…And wondering…Should I laugh hysterically? Or cry…I beat him. Yes, that’s right I beat him,(okay I spanked him, yes I spank) and you know what? He didn’t even cry. I know I’m a bad blogger and didn’t get a picture of the sink before I cleaned it but I will tell you that there was a lot of sharpie in that sink. Thank God for Magic Erasers! So really no damage was done. Well except the lost off a lot of saline solution and two perfectly good contacts.
Oh and then when I went to work, the very first customer I helped had a little cup of noodles and yeah I dumped it all over my counter…
Then the next day I got to work and half way to the door when I looked down and saw that I was wearing a pink and black shirt, and not the uniform, blue shirt…So thankfully I only live 7 minutes away and was able to run home and back and only be two minutes late! YAY!

I am so ready for a day off.

 
3 Comments

Posted by on April 11, 2010 in Crazy Talk, General Nonsense, Uncategorized

 

Did you miss me? Because I miss me.

So there’s something going on with me. I don’t know what, but something. I haven’t had the urge to blog, which probably means I’m depressed again and not paying enough attention to it. My sister who is now my “health care professional” brought me up some meds called Pristiq when she came to visit. I took one. And then forgot to take more. I think I’ll start taking them. But I’m a little worried because I don’t have a large supply of them so if I take them and they help how will I continue?? Nothing else is really suffering except my over all health.

I had to take a trip to the ER last week. Tons of fun. Actually got in pretty quick. The reason: I had a little man inside my pelvic region stabbing me with a hot poker. And the pain was radiating down my right leg and making it feel all prickly. Oh and only on the right side. The pain would be really bad at times and then tolerable at times. One day I took 5 ibuprofen before work, 4 at lunch and 4 more at bed time. Yeah. My kidneys loved me that day. Don’t tell me I already know what it can do to my kidneys. So the second day it was in pain I went to the Urgent Care out here, which apparently only gives out flu shots, because after visiting with the wonderful Nurse Practitioner there I was gently sent on my way because “We don’t deal with abdominal pain here.” W-T-FUCK?” So I went home, and took some more advil and went to work. So I let the pain go for a couple more days until I couldn’t stand it and went to the ER after complaining to EVERYONE about it. Yeah I get to the ER and bawl like I’m not a 30 year old woman because I’m envisioning the terrible bill…and oh yeah that little guy with the hot poker?? He disappeared. It hurt before I went, because that’s why I went, and then it was gone. I got to have a CT scan though, that was fun! I was even given the opportunity to get IV pain killers. With no scrutinizing glances! I did not take them up on it because well, I had to drive and couldn’t think of anyone to come pick me up b.c. well our car situation…So I got to hang out for a couple hours and just chill. When I left? Yeah the pain came back. It’s still hanging around. Added to it now is a really nice sinus infection, I believe, and or an ear infection. My head is killing me, and I’m dizzy. My nose is no longer stuffed up though, so that’s a plus.

So that’s my explanation on what I’ve been up to instead of blogging. Oh and I now know why people go on twitter while in the ER. Because you can get on the internet on your phone in the ER but not on your phone to CALL people. Well at least that’s what happened for me. I was bored out of my mind!! So yeah I’m still considering calling the community health center here to see if they can get me in, but I don’t think they can tell me anything else then what the ER did, which was basically nothing wrong with me. Yay!

That’s all I got in me, I’m exhausted. Apparently Oscar is too engrossed in Adventure Time to yell for me, which he usually does around this time at nice. My head is killing me and I’m ready for bed already. It’s not even 8:30.

I’m a big whiny baby.