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We all Have Struggles

31 Aug

(Written Monday, just to get you in the mind set.)

What I really want to do is sit here and type out all the ways I hate a certain Fox “News” person and how he’s a hateful mean spirited fear monger. But apparently only a couple people actually want to read and or comment on my political posts. Which is fine. I honestly don’t mind debate and when people don’t comment I just assume I have rendered all of you speechless. Or you all agree with all of my point and cannot simply add more to what I have already eloquently stated.

We ALL have problems with money.

The odd thing is the way that the money has been coming into the house lately, I shouldn’t have a problem. But because I don’t have a problem I tend to say “It’s okay to get this, because we have money.” And then we end up with a problem. But now I have a goal. I have to ask for the time off today at work. But I have a plan to go visit a friend who I have been missing for a while and I haven’t been able to see. And I rudely stood her up because of a new job way back in December. So I’m going to try and make it up to her and save money and go down to visit her and her family. I am beyond hopeful about this trip.

I’m actually thinking of postponing Oscar’s birthday to save the money. I wouldn’t do that! Yes I would. He won’t know anyway. He gets too many things as is. Yet if I don’t do his birthday I will feel like I’m not doing my job as a mom. Because every year my kid requires a cake and people around him singing him a song. But this year is different. I don’t have my sister here. I don’t have my wonderful neighbors. It’s just us. And that should be sufficient yet, most of the time I feel pretty lonely.

It always circles back to me doesn’t it?

Work has finally broken me down. It had stopped being fun, and apparently we’re not allowed to have fun anymore which is usually what happens at the jobs I’m at. We get out of control and have to be reeled back in. But whatever. The biggest thing for me is my feet. They hurt so bad from the concrete that I can’t be nice anymore. I feel like raging at people. I was going to get new shoes but we needed groceries instead. So I had to think: “food or shoes?” and food won. Of course. Stupid food. All it does is make me fat anyway.

I got sidetracked by a job opportunity. I just filled out the application now I have to do a new resume, again. Because since I had to reboot my computer I lost my last resume. No “good luck” necessary, I’m just filling out things and hoping for a chance. It’s a part time job at the City Council as an assistant. But it would pay me more than the 32 hours a week that I work at WM for just 28 hours a week. Make sense? And hopefully the opportunity to get benefits and to get my “foot in the door” as it were.

And I got side tracked some more by work. I’m home now. Work wasn’t terrible tonight, but I think that’s because for most of it I ignored my “real” work and just did what people told me to do. It was a little less crazy in the store tonight compared to the last couple of nights. I like Mondays for that reason. So now I’m sitting back and drinking a beer. Thinking about going to bed. Because tomorrow might be a long day. Work from 11am to 7:30. And then one more shift and I’m off for two days in a row. And I will tell you now that those two days will fly by, even if I do nothing at all. Because that’s what days off do.

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