I can’t tell you why I believe what I believe. If someone were to pin me down I would have to say because I don’t know…I don’t know what happens after we die. And I would like to hope and think that SOMETHING happens. Because what’s the use of being here? Just to be here? I guess that’s okay. We can be on this earth and live our lives and then just die and be done with it. And I know that I have a faith in some sort of God. My version of God is a lot different then other peoples. I truly have this “faith” in a God that loves EVERYONE, and EVERYTHING. And yes bad shit happens. And I bet that there is possibly no reason for it. There is no good reason why people have to die. Unless you know they’re really old…lol… There is no good reason why babies die. And God has yet to answer that. I can’t possibly wrap my head around the idea that “He wanted them with him.” Really? Really…God was like…”Hey you know, Randa, you REALLY didn’t need to have that baby, so I just…you know…I’m gonna take it off your hands…kay thanks bye” Plus the fact that I lost the baby at 10 weeks so really it was still not formed so what is God going to do with a blob? AND if there is a heaven is that blob going to be up there hanging out when I get there!? What would I say to that? I mean really?
Think about it. All those aborted babies, most of them in the very first weeks of life, just a jumble of cells hanging out with Jesus. That totally makes sense. And what would they look like? I mean would they be spirits? Do spirits have shape? I just don’t get any of it. I guess that’s why I like to imagine my own thing, instead of someone else’s version of heaven.
I really have a problem with people who have been “saved” because it all seems so false to me. I don’t have to be born again to have any sort of relationship with “my god.” To me it’s my own thing and I don’t need anyone telling me how to do what I do. I don’t need a hypocritical religion or “leader” on tv telling me how to be a good person. I know how to be a good person. I believe that I am a very good human. I am good to my neighbors. I treat people with respect. Yes I talk shit. Yes I judge. But I never ever thing about anyone and say “well they’re going to hell.” Because how the fuck do I know? All I know is that my version of heaven and hell is a lot different than anyone in any Christian denomination. And thank GOD for that. Because while their being boring in their non cussing, no fun having heaven. I will be cussing like a trucker with Jesus in Mine.