So it says:
“Something you hate about yourself.”
And I ask just one thing? Because there’s a list. Because I am full of self loathing and hatred and most of the time wonder why people take time out to like me.
I hate that I have no motivation to change. I know and have known for a while that shit in my life needs to change and needs to right now. But yet I do nothing but talk about it. Or type about it as you see here. I talk and think about all the things that need to be changed all the time.
My weight: I need to lose 100lbs seriously.
My constant need to be a people pleaser.
My outlook on life and where it’s going.
I need to change the way I look at the world.
The biggest “something” that I hate is just ME. I really don’t like myself. And probably never have. I can’t look myself in the mirror and say “I like you.” let alone: “I love you.” Because I don’t. I don’t really know how to change this, and I don’t think that doing that everyday is going to help. I can tell why people like me at times…but it doesn’t make me like me. Most of the time I just don’t think I’m all that worth it in the long run.
I’m not saying all of this to get the “You’re worth it” comments. I’m just saying what’s in my brain. And what flows out of it on to this computer. I don’t need convincing arguments to let me know that I am worth my own love. I’m just saying it’s not going to happen. The whole internal struggle thing. God I’m depressing.