New Plans

So I’m going to try to post every day. We’ll see how it goes. It will end up just being a daily “this is what I did and I’m soo awesome for it” kind of thing. Okay probably not. Like today. It’s 3pm and this is what I did today:

Oscar came in naked at 6am, because apparently it’s what we do in our house, sleep naked, all of us. Okay not really, he came in naked with shorts in his hands because he must have peed in his when he got up. He’s considerate in that he doesn’t wake me up when he does this, he just grabs his new clothes and then has to come in to watch t.v. and put his new clothes on. I should reverse the order of that. Because he does put on his new shorts before yelling. “I’M TURNING ON THE TV!” and I mumble “Okay dude, do it.” And Jesse just rolls over because he can sleep through getting pummeled by an almost 4 year old. Me? I can’t. Oh wait, Jesse doesn’t get pummeled because Oscar gets in on my side. That’s right. So I get my stomach area stomped on while he makes his way to the middle. Because that’s where he has to sit. Then I have to get the “mote” (remote) and put on Adventure Time. “Adventure Time the foot.” which is a hilarious episode where Fin gets turned into a foot and kicks a two headed monster in the crotch and both heads say “OH MY CROTCH!” and if any other kid’s show is saying that I’ve never seen it. So Adventure Time takes up a good hour of time, I get to sleep in 12 minute increments because after every episode I hear “I WANT MORE ADVENTURE TIME!” So I have to reasure him that it is going to be on again after the commercial, and if I don’t want to hear this I fast forward. Okay so around 7 I get this: “Uhm mom? I’m kinda really thirsty” “Uhm mom? I kinda want some chocolate milk.” So I get up put my clothes on and go get him something to drink. And then I get back and get back in bed. Then I hear: “Uhm mom? I’m kinda really hungry, I want noodles.” “You’re not getting noodles.” “OOHHhhh.” This is said like I just punched him in the gut…So we get up and get some cereal. And he eats in “Your place mom.” Because at breakfast he doesn’t have to sit in his chair, because I don’t eat breakfast. (Don’t look at me like that.) Then he puts his bowl in the fridge and we go and sit on the couch and I fall back asleep to whatever kid show is on. Until I hear. “Uhm mom? I’m kinda thirsty” and I say “No you’re not.”
Okay so Jesse doesn’t work all the time. We kind of have crappy jobs that work us, well whenever they want. So Jesse is home today so I got to lay in bed a while longer. I got up and Oscar is laying on the couch describing the game Jesse is playing on the PS3. It’s totally endearing and I sigh and then I get some pudding and go back to my room to watch morning TV. (Totally joking about the endearing part)
So with Jesse home I get left alone until a little after 11. Oh I have called Leslie by this point and talked on twitter about Louie to a new twitter/blog friend. Leslie has already run a mile, because she’s a weirdo runner who likes to mock other people that run but she does and I don’t get it. (She’s going to kick my ass for that) She’s totally training for a 100k because she’s crazy. She has also told me that I have to immediately  watch Date Night. To get on Comcast and order RIGHT NOW! I didn’t. Because I’m already afraid of my bills, so I have to be careful. Not that I don’t want to. But we just watched Kick Ass the other day. And I tell her to watch Louie, RIGHT NOW because it was hilarious and I almost peed my pants.
So okay where was I? Oh yeah, so after 11 I decide I’m hungry and I figure I better feed Oscar to. “Do you want macarroni and cheese?” “Uhm no, I want to watch Little Einstiens” “yeah you told me that, but do you want to eat anything.” “Uhm no, I want to watch…” “okay yeah I get it but do you want macaroni?” and he says “yeth” and I said “what?” and he says yes so I go start some macaroni. I also put the dishes away for the first time in maybe 2 weeks because I’m lazy, and I have two other non lazy adults that live with me. Then I’m still bored and I clean up the rest of the kitchen while waiting. We eat. Oscar burns his mouth on the macaroni then when his dad gets some pudding he wants some.
“I want some puddin!”
“No you don’t, you don’t like pudding.”
“Yeth I do! I want some!”
“Eat your macaroni and you can have some puding.”
“NO I’m done with my macaroni”
“well you have to finish the macaroni before you get pudding.”
“NO I don’t want it, I’m full”
“okay but you don’t get pudding unless you finish the macaroni, you can get down.”

This is between Oscar and Jesse. I’m on the couch because when I ate right after I got sick so I had to lie down again. I do a lot of laying down. So I watch some HGTV because Jesse and I like to trade rooms when we’re home. He’s watching “Naruto” on the computer. And then I get this weird urge to clean things. So I clean my bathroom, Jesse is now sleeping. Because he stays up too late but wakes up too early to offset it. So I woke him up while cleaning because I don’t want to be quiet and just wait for him to wake up. I had to clean the bathroom right then. So he got up and wandered away from my cleaning. I think by now, Oscar is in with his grandma because he can talk her into letting him play the Super Nintendo. Then I look in my room and I have to do laundry, so I sort my laundry and then I look at my dresser and the top has had shit on it for at least 5 months, so I clean that off. And then I realize something. I’m pretty sure I’m going to start my period soon. Because I don’t do this. I don’t get all clean and tidy all the time, just once a month.

I do a lot of twittering in the morning from my phone. It’s the easiest way to do it because my computer hates me and we fight a lot. It usually wins.

So now it’s almost 3:30. I have no idea what I’m going to do for dinner. I usually don’t. I really REALLY want a burger. I want to just phone it in and get a pizza or something. But I know we can’t do that. Because I forgot to pay the electric bill on time…again. So I had to pay that. And I have to wait till Jesse gets paid which is hopefully Friday since he will be going to Astoria again on Sunday. And then I can send my mom money for the tire bill. I will probably need to call Leslie again at some point. She’s feeling very left out because I “told” FB about Jesse going to Astoria before I told her. Which is funny that she talks like that because I know she really isn’t feeling that way. She’s just a weirdo.

Holy crap that was long. Could you imagine if I did this every day? I’m not even done with my day yet! And that was a day off! If I talked about what happened at work every day?! Holy crap. So next week I’ll be on my own, probably just till Tuesday again. I’m betting. Because if I bet that he’ll be back on Tuesday maybe he’ll stay till Wednesday. And all I think about is the fact that we didn’t have to pay for him to go and that he gets $40 and hour.

And now I have to finish my laundry…It takes me a while because I forget about it really easily, which irritates Jesse. Then I do it on purpose. I do a lot of things on purpose to irritate him, because he does things to irritate me, but I don’t know if it’s on purpose or not.