The downside of living far away from where I grew up is that I don’t get to see my family near enough. A 6-8 hour drive separates me from my siblings and my parents and I don’t like it. I have said before that I don’t like where I grew up. The town is too small and too full of bullshit and asshole people for me to deal with. And well there aren’t any jobs there. So I chose to move up here far away from them. And most of the time I’m happy with my choice. But there are times like now that I just get “familysick” I say that instead of home sick because I don’t feel like Burns is my home. I just miss the people who are there. Looking at pictures of my nephew’s birthday on Facebook really gets to me. And thinking about it even now makes me tear up a bit because I miss so much. I miss all the kids’ birthday parties. I miss sporting events. I miss seeing home runs. And they miss so much. They miss Oscar’s crazy stories and watching him in his imaginary world.
I really miss having my sister here even though we didn’t see each other day but when I did want to see her it only took me a half hour to get to her house, instead of 7 hours.
My dad is going into the hospital for his t-cell transplant the end of this month. I’m not sure how I feel about it. I’m trying to remain under control because he and WE have been through it all before so we know what to expect but it’s still kinda scary if you sit and think about it. So I try not to sit and think about it.
I still haven’t talked to my trainer. I don’t know when I will, I get a lump in my throat just thinking about it and my stomach gets all nervous. I love anxiety!