We got a new cat the other day. I’m officially a cat rescuer. And it is going to start me on a very dangerous path I can already see it. Well that is if the damn cats will stick around! He left yesterday out the kitty door that Barb was sure he hadn’t gotten figured out yet. (ooh that was a good sentence) So we went on a mini kitty hunt and then every so often would yell out the door for him. I was ready to go to the vet and say ‘well sorry, but if someone brings in the cat, I’ll come and get him again, I’m not very good at this game.’ But then after dinner here he comes…strolling in like a pimp. “Yeah…I was just with my bitches.” Complete with a top hat, cane and fur coat. haha. We were happy to see him. I’m really glad he found his way back, I think that means that if he leaves again, we won’t have to worry so much. He’s got a collar on, but no tags. Yeah yeah, report me.
So now, with the addition of this cat, Leslie and I can resume our talks on the phone about how our cats are terrorists and we can get back on the FBIs watch list. I bet they’re excited. This is what our conversation went like last night.
“Did the cat come back?”
“He did! Just sauntered back in like nothing. I think he was visiting some bitches.”
“He’s a pimp. He came back with a top hat and a cane and a fur coat. Wait he already has one of those.”
“So is Jesse on the gazelle?”
“No he’s just sitting on the couch.”
“You should go out there and say ‘why aren’t you working out, you disgust me.’ then get a pan of enchiladas (because I have them on hand at all times) and eat them right in front of him.”
So I wander out talking about tutus and enchiladas and start to tell Jesse how funny we are and I get this:
“I don’t want to hear about your enchilada tutus.”
“what?!” (he has no sense of humor)
So I tell him: “Well I had plans to get a tutu, and dance around you, which would end up me trying to do sumersaults and farting, a lot.”
“oohhh that’s awesome.”
“I know, I’m hot like that.”
“Go watch your Ghost Show already!”
I think me dancing around in a tutu would be very seductive and would lend to a very rompus time in bed. Especially if it just ended up with me laying on the ground and flailing my arms and legs in the air. Then rolling around like a log till I hit the walls. Then I would spring up and do a little twirl. And he would swoop me in his arms and carry me into the bedroom where he would probably wrap me up in a blanket and dispose of my body somewhere.