Changing Names

20 Sep

On facebook all the married people have a choice to put their maiden names on along with their married names so people who knew them “before” can find them easier. Leslie and I were discussing this and I felt left out, because I’m not married. I should be, but I don’t want to, I have a blog about this some where around here, find it. Anyway so today I’m confusing the crap out of people and probably annoying some by putting my name on face book as my first name then my last name…twice. ITS HILARIOUS. But only to myself and Leslie, because we’re freaking dorks.
I have a problem with the whole taking his last name when we finally do get married because I’m insanely attached to my last name. Since 6th grade I was only called by my last name so it essentially was my first name. So now that I’m 30 I’ve had this last name and I really REALLY like it. I don’t really care for Jesse’s last name, it just doesn’t suit me, so I don’t even think I would like to hyphenate it. Plus I don’t really like when people hyphenate their last names, it just seems pretentious. Maybe not as bad as not even taking your husbands last name, but why do I have to? Do I? I mean does it really hurt me in the long run just to keep my last name? Come on how much longer would I have? Would it matter? I don’t see us getting married in the next 5 years, so I’d be over 35 by then, and then how long would I last past then? Whats the point in changing it? Unless we win the lottery and can fly all, and I mean ALL of our family and friends to a huge wedding in Vegas, I don’t think we’ll be getting married soon. It is after all MY day right? And what I want is a big fancy to do at the Luxor hotel complete with an Egyptian themed wedding, down to the dress, which would mean I need to lose 100lbs, (I’m not even kidding). Plus I want all my friends from school to be there, and I want ALL my family to be there…which would cost everyone a pretty penny. Then there would be the honeymoon where we would go to Africa. Yes this is the dream. I can’t see myself having a wedding at this point anyway. We’re dirt poor, and I’m fat. I will not have my wedding pictures with me in them, looking the way I do. No offence to other women who have gotten married when they’re heavy but I am not a cute fat girl. I look horrid fat. Other women look wonderful “overweight” I am not one of them. I HATE looking at pictures of me, I hate looking in the mirror, not that I liked it much before when I wasn’t fat, but its worse now. Yet I have no motivation to change my appearance. Sure I put in a couple attempts here and there, but I have never made any bold moves to change my weight.
Ugh when did I de-rail??
This was supposed to be light and airy about changing my stinking screen name on facebook. And look where it went. I need to get back in to see a counselor, seriously. I’m losing it.
I watched Oprah the other day because my favorite Mariah Carey was on, and I cried, scratch that, I bawled. Yeah, and then there’s this commercial for a cell phone on lately that had a little girl looking for her dog, and a college kid helps by sending the picture via phone to everyone he knows and low and behold! He finds the dog and as soon as the girl sees the dog, I swear to God I tear up instantly. Crazyness.

Okay so I said in my last post that I would blog about my nephew…and I will, I know you’re waiting with bated breath…keep holding!

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Posted by on September 20, 2009 in Crazy Talk, Depression, Facebook


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