This is how my current situation feels like to me. Its the only way I can illustrate my feelings. A big ol’ hairy bear is raping my ass, and I’m drowning at the same time. Yup. The worst thing is that we basically fucked ourselves. In my stupid assumption that Jesse would be working we paid off an enormous amount of money only to find out that Jesse would not be working and well $2300 that could have gone to covering our asses while he was out of work went to pay off a bill that could have been paid off in May. And now we are a month behind, not only on bills but in our bank as well. There’s no sign of getting any money back in unless we want to be even further behind on our bills. I keep hoping that Jesse will get hit by a car while walking or something just to get a big pay off. It wouldn’t hurt him that bad, and he’s been through it before so really it wouldn’t be a big deal to him. I also in my desparation wish him death at times because well then I would get the big pay off. But then I think, “No I really do like him around.” Ugh, speaking of big pay offs, I have to figure out how to cancel that debt too. Crap. I have to get a hold of so many places!! There is going to be a lot of running around for me on Monday that’s for damn sure. Do you think I would jinx us both if I cancel our life insurance policies? I don’t want to be that 10:00 news story. I could see that happening to us. Why can’t I be the “They won the lottery” story? I’m sick to my stomach about all this now.
There’s nothing else going on, just me worrying, and not being able to get a job. Seriously. I know I’ve said this before but what kind of world do I live in where I can’t seem to get a job anywhere? Why won’t places hire me?
I wish I could be funny and carefree right now, but as you can see its tough going.
I keep praying hard for Jesse to get that damn job.
On a lighter note, I just fished a nipple guard out of my sons mouth. This would be funny to you if you knew what a nipple guard is…use your imagination!