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"Homo Loving Commie"

02 Mar

I honestly don’t have much to write, I’m dying of the plague and this might be my last post… Okay I’m being dramatic.

My friend Leslie hates Twilight. I told her I saw a Twilight shirt in the mall and I was going to send it to her, she said she would wear it to the gym. I said people would ask her who her favorite character is and she would say “the vampire? what are you talking about? I thought this shirt was about night time.” And then she would say she hates Twilight but she loves Harry Potter and that she’s an awesome wizard. And anytime anyone says something about Twilight she’s going to say a Harry Potter spell. But pronounce it wrong. “Alhoa amora!” “Ahora Magora!”
This was just an excerpt of our phone conversations. I’m sure the FBI loved it. They love our talks about our cat terrorists. I’m sure we’re being recorded by the FBI because one day we said Terrorist over 40 times in one conversation, just to get their attention. Then they’re forced to listen to our everyday banter about Harry Potter and making porn.
Our idea’s on the phone range from talks of t-shirts:
“Its like gay porn but with a vagina”
“That’s what she said” (which I was very sad to see was already on a shirt being sold at JC Penny)
The it shifts to things like ohh our cats being terrorists, Leslie’s cat Arlowe is the leader and my sister’s cat is a go to kinda cat because she gets to leave the house. They somehow get messages back and forth to each other by a very complex system of cat hair on coats. Leslie swears that she’s seen Arlowe in a turban at one point in time. Tinkerbell as I am told her name is…has been spotted on the phone several times no doubt plotting their next move.
Then we get into talking about our crazy dreams which could fill an entire blog by itself. I honestly should just start my own little spin off “dream blog” which would just be my dreams from the night before. Yes I remember almost all of my dreams. And they are in color and mostly like movies. I’m not a real believer in my dreams telling me anything because they usually don’t make any sense at all. Or their too real to even be trying to tell me anything. My dreams are always half lit too, like the lighting is off, so in the day time I have to have lights on or else I think I’m stuck in a dream and it kinda freaks me out. I have dreams where I was dreaming in a dream and had to wake myself up in the dream and then wake up from that dream. Or sometimes I figure out that I’m dreaming and I change things in my dream to go the way I want it to go.
Our newest talk has been about how Republicans love babies and guns and hate “the gays.” And we’ve decided that they are soon to develop a baby cannon so they can eradicate “the gays” with babies. I know it sounds counter intuitive but most of the Republican ideals are. OHH! BURN!

I spend a lot of time looking on Craigslist at the postings in the Political section to get a good laugh in now and then. Usually there is stuff from a paranoid schizophrenic about being “gang-stalked” I have yet to google this word hmm maybe I will now!
“Gang stalking is a psychological harassment that can completely destroy a persons life, while leaving little or no evidence of the perpetrators.” This definition come from gang stalking world.com. I’m a little scared to click on the link because I think its a slippery slope. I’ll see if Wikipedia has anything more…
And they don’t. They just have information on Stalking. Lame.

Sometimes when I say something I want to quote lines from movies. I’ve been doing this since high school. I tend to think that I’m rather witty when I do it because I chose the exact moment to use the line. I don’t just spit out phrases. My brother has a friend who does this and its annoying, he talks completely in movie quotes but usually they have nothing at all to do with the situation. He just says them. When I first heard him do this I thought to myself “do I sound this dumb?!” I can’t! And then I was listening to a radio morning show and the female on the show said that why men talk in movie quotes is because they can’t think any original thoughts. And that threw me because 1. I am not a man. and 2. I swear I have original thoughts!! My best showing of using phrases from movies was once when I was with my mom and one of her friends they sent me in somewhere real quick to grab something and I turned and said “If I’m not back in 5 minutes…Just wait longer!” (Ace Ventura Pet Detective). It was a crowning achievement for me, they laughed hysterically. My other friend at school and I would have to quote the name of the movie after we said a line at times because people wouldn’t know what we were talking about. My friend Leslie and I can quote the entire movie of Tommy Boy. I once did a scene from the movie at dinner in front of several people. At the urgent request of my friend, and because there were dinner rolls available.

Well this turned out to be quite interesting. I was going to write the story behind the main title to show that it just didn’t come out of nowhere, but now I’m tired, and I need to take some sudafed and go to bed. Jesse actually has work tomorrow which means I actually have to hang out with my boy child. Ugh. Yeah I liked that he works because we need money but it was really nice to have someone else here to change diapers.

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Posted by on March 2, 2009 in Crazy Talk, movie quotes, sick

 

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