Throwing my computer at the wall

14 Feb

I would throw it out the window but it wouldn’t fit, and it wouldn’t do any good because I’m in the basement. Stupid computer. I want to shift all the money that I have allocated to get a new one. Oh that sounded so financial! We’re getting our tax money but its all going to lame stuff like paying off bills. yeah LAME! Oh except the little bit that is going to replacing my glasses that I’ve had for 5 years…yeah…Listen to what Jesse said on the glasses subject “Can’t you just get new lenses and have them just fix your frames?” I almost punched him in the weiner. Sometimes he seriously pisses me off, especially when he says shit like that. Considering that my eye sight hasn’t changed in the past five years so why would I need new LENSES?! The frame is the thing that is falling apart!! I fell on my face on concrete a few years back and broke them so bad that I had to find a new screw to use to put them back together, they’re practically held together with duct tape and this ass hole has the nerve to say “get them fixeD?!?!?!” Fuck off!! I wanted to get Lasik but damn that is expensive. I had no idea. I wanted to go to Positive Changes Hypnosis and get help for my weight and my nail bitting and all my other bad habbits but that’s 2 grand as well, so all I want. ALL I WANT is contacts, and new frames, I’ll even go with the crappy freebees from insurance as long as I can get contacts. He’s such a shitball. So yeah I’m a little angry, I don’t know if you can tell…do is translate?

I’m on my period.

I’ve been fighting the urge to just lay down and cry today. No real reason other then the smashing headache because I was stupid and drank coffee… Oh and my son driving me insain and my aunt cancelling plans AGAIN to take him over night. This time I didn’t get excited about it I was only looking halfway forward to sleeping in. Can I say that I should have been one of those “childless by choice” people? I’m way too into sleeping to be a mom. And who’d thunk it I want more! I seriously think there’s something wrong with me. So what did I do at the end of the day? I downloaded a large amount of inspirational songs. Songs that would uplift me. I also have some stuff from Joyce Meyer to listen to that helps. I’m so agitated that my sleeping aid isn’t helping at all.

There is one good thing to report. I am now 227lbs. Well I was yesterday, who knows what it is now…it might be even more. I’ve had some candy today. And alot of mashed potatoes for dinner. Ugh this music is no match for my crappy mood. I hope it goes away over night or something. I can’t even stand myself.

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Posted by on February 14, 2009 in Depression Weigh in


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